An Ode to Online Shopping

By: Camille Rose Smith
*This poem is the result of nighttime boredom, the writing jitters, and unbearable heat


Athens, Ohio is a wonderful town, 

Perfect for food and nightlife and adventuring around,

The atmosphere is great, and the street style greater . . . 

'I wonder where she got her skirt?' 

No worries, I'll search it later.

For shopping is scarce, in this small country town.

Boutiques, overpriced, are the only fashion safe havens to be found.

Malls, shopping plazas, Athens is void of them all.

Sometime I want to scream, "I just need a mall!"

But college kid budgets leave much to be desired

No money to be spared, if only I'd get hired.

After books and tuition and fees beyond belief, 

That small loan refund check is such a relief.

The days of back-to-school shopping with the parentals,

Are long gone by now, I even pay for my dental.

So shopping for deals, clearance, and thrifting,

Make up my routine,

Even though 

Designers I'm missing.

Thankfully, the Internet is easily accessed, 

With Wi-Fi and computers all over campus

I'm desperate to spend the little I have

And no, it's not funny.

Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, and Anthropology,

Please help me spend my money

I head for the Sales tab

With every mouse click

There are dresses to be had

Except I don't know which ones to pick

I go the safer route

I buy them all, instead of picking

It pays off in the end though

Because I get free shipping

In agony I wait

For 7 to 14 days

Two weeks seem like years

As I live in a daze

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night 

Can keep my apparel from my longing sight.

Packages come daily, except on Sundays of course

But no email has come from the residential housing force

I track my investments, they're close to arrival 

And on day 14, an email sits on the pile

But more waiting ensues, because in college strife

I must wait till 8:30pm, when the office comes to life

And finally, at exactly 8:31pm

My RA arrives to get the mail done

"What do you need?", he asks with nonchalance

'Just my package, that's all. It has Forever 21 font.'

He hands it over, and I rush to my room

It is opened like a present of expensive perfume

And inside, I find the most precious of gifts

A coupon for 20% off plus free ship